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My new family..
My big sis and big big sis came to visit me today!! I had been looking forward to their visit since before break started and it finally came!! We went out to lunch and hung out at the mall for awhile and talked and got caught up on life! It was fun to get to spend time with them..even if it was just for a little while! I love them to death!! They are amazing girls..and I am so thankful God has placed them in my life!
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So I have been contemplating blog posts for several days now. I have sat down a few different times and attempted to write something, but the words don’t come and I usually end up erasing whatever I wrote and moving on to checking my e-mail and then find something else to do. I have so many thoughts in my head, but I am not sure which ones will come out in an understandable fashion. I decided over break I am very impatient. I am always looking on to the next point in life instead of enjoying the one I am in. Which is a very dangerous thing to do. So one of my goals for this next semester is to enjoy being a college student..to make friends, to not always be so uptight, to be happy where I am and not always wishing I was older or in a different place. I am going to fall back in love with my Savior and make Him top priority in my life. I spent so much time last semester up tight, missing home, and wishing I was done with college I missed out on a lot. But I am going to work on strengthening my relationships with my roommates and friends, my God, and my sorority sisters. I am going to be content being where I am because I know it is exactly where God wants me. And I am going to laugh more! 🙂
Now I have to finish cleaning my room before my mom kills me..I will write more later!!
Amanda
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Going back..
I am going back to work…I don’t want to..I have no desire to put on my hat and apron and stand behind a counter for four hours smiling and taking people’s orders. I don’t know why I was so excited about going back..but I am dragging my feet utterly disgusted that I have to go. I don’t know why I hate to work so much. But I think it is more the people there..granted, I love my bosses..but I stand around for hours and hour not talking to anyone but the customers that come and go every few minutes..there is no communication between my co-workers and I. And for me..that is really really hard. I can’t hardly go two minutes without talking..even if it is to myself:) And now I am forced to go for hours. Needless to say, it is a definate struggle to make myself get in the car and drive to work.
But I will do..I will buckle down and go and attempt to make the best of it. Who knows maybe one of my few friends at work will be there. or maybe I will make a new friend. or maybe I will just some time to ponder the meaning of life:) hee hee. I have had plently of time to do that lately. And you know, I have come to one conclusion–I am a long way from where I would like to be and getting there is not going to be the easiest road. But I know that everyday I am falling more and more in love with my Savior and less and less in love with this world. As I have re-opened my Bible and re-connected with my high school friends, I have realized that there is something to be said for My Savior. He is quickly regaining His place as Lord and love of my life. Is it easy? no…but is it best..YOU BET!! so I am off to work and off to a new adventure! Life only comes around once and who knows how long I have to make an impact for Christ!
More later..
Amanda
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I miss writing..
I miss writing on this..for so long I was so scared of who read this that I stopped writing my thoughts down..but I am going back..I know I’m a dork:)
I think music sometimes is the best way to express life and I am not ready to spill all my thoughts just yet..but I love this song…take a moment to ponder it..:) I will write more later..when I feel like bearing the pages of my life.
Staring at the blank page before you
Open up the dirty window
Let the sun illuminate the words that you could not find
Reaching for something in the distance
So close you can almost taste it
Release your innovations
Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins
The rest is still unwritten -
My roommies
I just have to say I have the world’s best roommates ever!! My birthday was yesterday and I didn’t really have any plans and I was a little sad to not be at home. But lo and behold, my roommates showed up with Starbucks and a cake and a gift for me and then took me out to dinner!! It was seriously one of the best days ever!! I am so thankful for them..they have been the greatest ever!! This is going to be a long break without them…
Amanda and Nicole–I love you both!! Thanks again for making my birthday the best!
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Stuck on my knees..
so..this was perhaps the hardest week of my college career thus far. On top of exams, which were no walk in the park-I was faced hard on with the reality of cause and effect. You know..every choice has a consequence..whether good or bad. And it brought me to a place of complete brokenness before God..I was literally stuck on my knees. I realized that I had once again tried to take things into my own hands and try my own way to accomplish my goals and dreams and had fallen drastically short. In fact, I think I might have done exactly the opposite of what I wanted to do. And when I was questioning why I was even here, I realized something. Had I not gotten to that point, I don’t know where I would be. I think I would have ended up very very far from where God wants me. I think I would have given up long ago. But God knew I would be here. He knew this would come at what I thought was the worst possible time. He knew what it would take to break me. And break me He did. I realized once and for all that I really can’t do this on my own. And I can’t rely on other people to help me along. I have to make the decision and stick to it. I have to draw on strength from God and rely on His wisdom. And while I wish it wouldn’t have taken me so long to realize this, I can truely say I am going to make some drastic changes for the better and get this whole trusting God thing under control..
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