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Wow
I am utterly amazed at how often I can fail and yet everyday be reminded of how amazing God is. I am listening to a song and the chorus goes,
You and I were made to worship. You and I were called to love.
You and I are forgiven and free. You and I embrace surrender.
You and I choose to believe. You and I will see, we were meant to be.
And as I sit here in a computer lab on campus, I realize this is my calling in life. Not to be so busy I have no time to think. Not to get a 4.0. Not to be the best at everything. Not to be everything to everyone. No, I was made to worship. That is all I am supposed to do. In every aspect of my life, I am called to worship. So why do I so often lose sight of that..because I get caught up in this world. In the temporary pleasures of this life.I have to go meet with a professor and then I get to see my daddy!! That makes me more happy then anything!!!!!!!
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Get back up..
I am utterly amazed how many curveballs life throws at you. I know God never intended it to be easy, but I at least thought it would be manageable. And I know it is, but sometimes I feel like everytime I get my bearings, something else comes and knocks the wind right out of my sails. I am supposed to be studying business law..but my mind is so full of thoughts I can’t focus. I am hoping after this I will be able to concentrate on the Constitution. 🙂
So do you ever wonder why people are so thick-headed sometimes. I have realized that I think some people just don’t want to accept that what people are saying is exactly what they think. I am getting tired of my life. I am losing that excitement and joy and passion that I want. I was talking to someone today and they told me just not to care..but that is the last thing I want to do. I want to care..if you stop caring, you lose a reason for living. And you hurt everyone else around you in the process. I want to have passion in my life. I want to have joy and fulfillment. The problem is..I look for it in all the wrong places.
I started reading this book called The Search of Significance. Last night, I was reading it and it hit me..I am trying so hard to find my worth and significance in this world. But I keep looking for it in other people. Which is a sad pursuit. But as soon as I try to search for it in Christ, something comes that knocks me back a few steps. I see that person that I desperately want to mean something to. Or that person who I want to be friends with and yet seem to always fall short. Or do worse then I thought on something school related..etc. And I am once again hit with the obvious fact that I am searching for my significance in the wrong places.
So I am going to care..it is my nature. and I am going to be passionate about life. But I am going to find my passion and significance in the one who made me..not in that person who never really cared to begin with..or in the person who will fail me..but in the one Person who will NEVER leave nor forsake me! How amazing is that!
back to studying..I think I can focus now:)
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This impacted me..thought I would share
DON’T LEAVE IT ON THE DESK
There was a certain Professor of Religion named Dr. Christianson, astudious man who taught at a small college in the western United States. Dr. Christianson taught the required survey course in Christianity atthis particular institution. Every student was required to take this coursehis or her freshman year, regardless of his or her major. Although Dr. Christianson tried hard to communicate the essence ofthe gospel in his class, he found that most of his students looked upon thecourse as nothing but required drudgery. Despite his best efforts, moststudents refused to take Christianity seriously. This year, Dr. Christianson had a special student named Steve. Stevewas only a freshman, but was studying with the intent of going onto seminaryfor the ministr! y. Stev e was popular, he was well liked, and he was animposing physical specimen. He was now the starting center on the schoolfootball team, and was the best student in the professor’s class. One day, Dr. Christianson asked Steve to stay after class so he couldtalk with him. “How many push-ups can you do?” Steve said, “I do about 200 every night” “200? That’s pretty good, Steve,” Dr. Christianson said. “Do youthink you could do 300?” Steve replied, “I don’t know… I’ve never done 300 at a time.” “Do you think you could?” again asked Dr. Christianson. “Well, I can try,” said Steve. “Can you do 300 in sets of 10? I have a class project in mind and Ineed you to do about 300 push-ups in sets of ten for this to work. Can you doit? I need you to tell me you can do it,” said the professor. Steve said, “Well… I think I can…yeah, I can do it.” Dr. Christianson said, “Good. I need you to do this on Friday. Let meexplain what I have in mind.” Friday came and Steve got to class early and sat in the front of theroom. When class started, the professor pulled out a big box of donuts. No,these weren’t the normal kinds of donuts, they were the extra fancy BIG kind,with cream centers and frosting swirls. Everyone was pretty excited it wasFriday, the last class of the day, and they were going to get an early starton the weekend with a party in Dr. Christianson’s class. Dr. Christianson went to the first girl in the first row and asked, “Cynthia, do you want to have one of these donuts?” Cynthia said, “Yes.” Dr. Christianson then turned to Steve and asked, “Steve, would you doten push-ups ! so that Cynthia can have a donut?” “Sure.” Steve jumped down from his desk to do a quick ten. Then Steveagain sat in his desk. Dr. Christianson put a donut on Cynthia’s desk. Dr. Christianson then went to Joe, the next person, and asked, “Joe,do you want a donut?” Joe said, “Yes.” Dr. Christianson asked, “Steve would you do tenpush-ups so Joe can have a donut?” Steve did ten push-ups, Joe got a donut. And so it went, down thefirst aisle, Steve did ten push ups for every person before they got theirdonut. Walking down the second aisle, Dr. Christianson came to Scott. Scottwas on the basketball team, and in as good condition as Steve. He was verypopular and never lacking for female companionship. When the professor asked, “Scott do you want a donut?” Scott’s reply was, “Well, can I do my own push ups?” Dr. Christianson said, “No, Steve has to do them.” Then Scott said, “Well, I don’t w! ant one then.” Dr. Christianson shrugged and then turned to Steve and asked, “Steve,would you do ten push ups so Scott can have a donut he doesn’t want?” With perfect obedience Steve started to do ten push ups. Scott said, “Hey, I said I didn’t want one” Dr. Christianson said, “Look, this is my classroom, my class, mydesks, and these are my donuts. Just leave it on the desk if you don’t wantit.” And he put a donut on Scott’s desk. Now by this time, Steve had begun to slow down a little. He juststayed on the floor between sets because it took too much effort to begetting up and down. You could start to see a little perspiration coming outaround his brow. Dr. Christianson started down the third row. Now the students werebeginning to get a little angry. Dr. Christianson asked Jenny, “Jenny, do youwant a donut?” Sternly, Jenny said, “No.” Then Dr. Christianson asked Steve, “Steve, would you do ten morepush-ups so Jenny can have a donut that she doesn’t want?” Steve didten….Jenny got a donut. By now, a growing sense of uneasiness filled the room. The studentswere beginning to say “No” and there were a! ll thes e uneaten donuts on thedesks. Steve also had to really put forth a lot of extra effort to get thesepush ups done for each donut. There began to be a small pool of sweat on thefloor beneath his face, his arms and brow were beginning to get red becauseof the physical effort involved. Dr. Christianson asked Robert, who was the most vocal unbeliever inthe class, to watch Steve do each push up to make sure he did the full tenpush ups in a set because he couldn’t bear to watch all of Steve’s work forall of those uneaten donuts. He sent Robert over to where Steve was so Robertcould count the set and watch Steve closely. Dr. Christianson started down the fourth row. During his class,however, some students from other classes had wandered in and sat down on thesteps along the radiators that ran down the sides of the room. When theprofessor realized this, he did a quick count and saw that now there werestudents in the room. He started to worry if Steve would be able to make it. Dr. Christianson went on to the next person and the next and thenext. Near the end of that row, Steve was really having a rough time. Hewas taking a lot more time to complete each set. Steve asked Dr. Christianson, “Do I have to make my nose touch oneach one?” Dr. Christianson thought for a moment, “Well, they’re your push ups.You are in charge now. You can do them any way that you want.” And Dr. Christianson went on. A few moments later, Jason, a recent transfer student, came to theroom and was about to come in when all the students yelled in one voice, “NO,don’t come in Stay out!” Jason didn’t know what was going on. Steve picked up his head andsaid, “No, let him come.” Professor Christianson said, “You realize that if Jason comes in youwill have to do ten push ups for him?” Steve said, “Yes, let him come in. Give him a donut.” Dr. Christianson said, “Okay, Steve, I’ll let you get Jason’s out ofthe way right now. Jason, do you want a donut?” Jason, new to the room, hardly knew what was going on. “Yes,” hesaid, “give me a donut.” “Steve, will you do ten push-ups so that Jason can have a donut?”Steve did ten push ups very slowly and with great effort. Jason, bewildered,was handed a donut and sat down. Dr. Christian! son fin ished the fourth row, and then started onthose visitors seated by the heaters. Steve’s arms were now shaking with eachpush-up in a struggle to lift himself against the force of gravity. By thistime sweat was profusely dropping off of his face, there was no sound excepthis heavy breathing; there was not a dry eye in the room. The very last two students in the room were two young women, bothcheerleaders, and very popular. Dr. Christianson went to Linda, the second tolast, and asked, “Linda, do you want a doughnut?” Linda said, very sadly, “No, thank you.” Professor Christianson quietly asked, “Steve, would you do tenpush-ups so that Linda can have a donut she doesn’t want?” Grunting from theeffort, Steve did ten very slow push ups for Linda. Then Dr. Christianson turned to the last girl, Susan. “Susan, do youwant a donut?” Susan, with tears flowing down her face, began to cry. “Dr.Christianson, why can’t I help him?” Dr. Christianson, with tears of his own, said, “No, Steve has to doit alone, I have given him this task and he is in charge of seeing thateveryone has an opportunity for a donut whether they want it or not. When I decided to have a party this last day of class, I looked at mygrade book. Steve here is the only student with a perfect grade. Everyone elsehas failed a test, skipped class, or offered me inferior work. Steve told methat in football practice, when a player messes up he must do push-ups. I told Steve that none of you could come to my party unless he paidthe price by doing your push ups. He and I made a deal for your sakes.” “Steve, would you do ten push-ups so Susan can have a donut?” AsSteve very slowly finished his last pushup, with the understanding that hehad accomplished all that was required of him, having done 350 push ups, hisarms buckled beneath him and he fell to the floor. Dr. Christianson turned to the room and said. “And so it was, thatour Savior, Jesus Christ, on the cross, plead to the Father, ‘into thy handsI commend my spirit.’ With the understanding that He had done everything thatwas required of Him, He yielded up His life. And like some of those in thisroom, many of us leave the gift on the desk, uneaten.” Two students helped Steve up off the floor and to a seat, physicallyexhausted, but wearing a thin smile. “Well ! done, g ood and faithful servant,” said the professor,adding, “Not all sermons are preached in words.” Turning to his class, the professor said, “My wish is that you mightunderstand and fully comprehend all the riches of grace and mercy that havebeen given to you through the sacrifice of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.He spared not only His Begotten Son, but gave Him up for us all, for thewhole Church, now and forever. Whether or not we choose to accept His gift to us, THE PRICE has beenpaid.” “Wouldn’t you be foolish and ungrateful to leave it lying on thedesk?” Share this with someone. It’s bound to touch their heart anddemonstrate salvation in a very special way. -
God is too good
I came home this weekend for the first time since school started and boy did I need to do that. It had just come to a point where I needed a break from college life. So I came home and realized once again how truly amazing the God is that I serve and how often I fall short of showing that in my own life. I spent the weekend with my family, relaxing and doing some odd and end things..not as much homework as I needed to but oh well.
This morning I got to go to my church which is my favorite part of coming home. I miss my church a lot..the one I go to at college is great, but just not the same as my home church. The sermon this morning was on Jonah and on living by principles, not feelings. WOW! Talk about God giving me a not so gentle nudge. It was exactly what I needed to hear, maybe not what I wanted to hear, but what I needed. I realized how much I have been living based on how I feel, not on what I believe or the principles governing my life. And life has been going somewhat crazy..imagine that. So I got my wake-up call. Going back isn’t going to be easy…in fact, it is going to take every ounce of my will-power to get in the car and drive back to school. It would be so much easier to stay here, but since when did God call us to do that which was easy.
I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me! ALL THINGS–what an amazing verse. I can learn to live by my principles, not my feelings. I can learn to live with people that well, aren’t easy to live with. I can learn to trust in God for my future instead of freaking out every other week. But only when I rely on God and turn to Him can I do all of that. So starting today I am going back to the beginning. Going back to the cross-forget all the stuff I “know” from years at a Christian school..I am going back to what first griped my soul. To the ideas, however simple, that compel me to a deeper love and desire to follow Christ. That’s what I need..I need some fuel to keep my fire burning.
So all things considered, it was an amazing weekend and a good re-focusing time..Now I just have to go back..
Amanda
